lately iv been getting the feeling that im losing something…. and getting bit depressed by it. either that or its just side effects of lack of sleep lol. and cw pressure is starting to mount again slowly. gran was in hospital again, her health’s not too good. thankfully she was able to come home after a few days; they gave her twp pints of blood, so she looked alot better.
i can’t help but feel like i’ve commited some kind of social taboo. since the xmas party at the SU with A and co, we’ve started to hang out more. everytime she goes partying she’d invite me to join them, and towards the end of january when it was crazy and we had 3 deadlines in two weeks, even though we had no lectures or anything but it was insane the workload we had to do, i ended up living in the computer room at uni. sad but thats what an avalanche of cw does to you haha. well A had practically moved into 205, (comp room) as she’d be there day in day out, from 8ish am til when they kick her out at 8pm. now thats hardcore! i’d start around 11ish and stay till 7.30pm as i had to get the bus home so couldn’t stay as late. she helped me alot with the project, kinda acting as my editor (we had to write reports and do insane amounts of research) and i was like her proof reader, as she’d ask me if this sounded ok, or how to write something to sound better, and id ask her which image to choose or to out what where.
and then the other week, i was invited to have dinner with the HK girls and other.. chinese internationals and HK.K. since we were on pally terms i thought id tell A in casual conversation. i didn’t invite her because i knew we’d all be speaking chinese, both mando and canto and my canto is only so-so as it is anyway. the following week she goes out with her other friends and doesn’t invite me. normally it wouldn’t be a big deal as i was used to being on my own, but for 3 weeks running whenever she went out, she invited me too so i felt like i was starting to make friends on the course. but now im not so sure… maybe i shouldnt have told her i was having dinner with the chinese lot?? chef says im looking into it waaay too much. maybe i am. its just that last week i hinted twice that i wanted to go out, each time using a different tactic to hint at going to SU to party. but A would just stay silent, and eventually talk about something else. Hmm…. why was that? chef might be right, so i thought i’d be more direct and just ask if she wanted to go out this w/e. Tomorrow she might be going out with another friend and his mates, to a gay club, and she invited me to join in, but she might also be going home, so she’ll keep me posted about what she’s going to do.
i feel a dry spel coming on… dry as in i won’t be going out much in the next couple of weeks, which i want to go out because the workload is ok atm, the deadlines aren’t too close - yet. whereas last time they were, but thengoing out just a week or so before the deadline helps to aleviate the stress. as does looking at eye-candy where everybody is the same age and status as you - students. =P
